I Am Lis
Hey, I’m Lis! Here is a lesson I learned late in life… give the utmost attention to the words you place after “I am.” As a recovering people pleaser, and one who really dislikes confrontation, I was fond of saying things like, “I am sorry” when I wasn’t at fault for anything, or “I am so indecisive,” when blaming myself for situations that simmered beyond my control. But happily I AM more intentional with my words these days, and quite satisfied with the place it has brought me.
One of the things that snapped me out of my old self-hating blame game was a question I learned to ask myself. Would I talk to my friend that way? Would I judge her and remind her of all her shortcomings? Of course not! At last I have made friends with myself and life has been much gentler as a result. I was raised by a very loving mother who showed by example how painful it can be when you are self deprecating and overly critical. It’s a hard habit to break when you don’t even realize it’s part of your programming. So now, rather than focusing on things that shake my confidence, I choose the opposite. What if there is no right or wrong way to live? What if all our choices are just expressions of the human experience? This perspective takes all the pressure off. I am free to just be, and to love myself in the process. So what do I love about myself?
I love my ability to connect with friends and how our time together lifts our spirits to a more joyful and lofty place. I love my fondness for words - reading them, writing them and playing with them. I love to doodle and watercolor. I love baking cookies and walking my dog, and pausing for coffee time. I love watching football on a gray Sunday in October, and walking barefoot in spring grass. I love the beach in winter, and how my eyes see the world. I am patient and thoughtful and genuine. I am empathic and intuitive. I am a good listener, and I am a cheerleader for you when your energy is flagging and you’re struggling to see your own value. These are all the things that make me an amazing coach as well. I thrive when I am invited to hold space for others on their journey to level up.
I look for the positive in people and situations. At their core, I think people do the best with where they are at in their life. Something my grandfather said when I was just a kid has always stuck with me and I find they are words to live by. “If you can’t say something positive, say nothing.” This is a fine edge to navigate, because when we see injustice, we need to say so. When we see someone hurting, we need to address it. There are many times in life when we need to speak up, but I think it’s equally important to be quiet and listen, and to discern which is which. Wisdom comes at the price of age, and I’m fine with losing my youth if my lessons may help someone else. I am happy you are here with me, and that together we can share and grow.
