I see you
When it comes to Hollywood movies, the reviews and fanfare seem to determine which storylines will come around again in the form of sequels, prequels and spinoffs, and that seems to have been the case for Avatar. I loved the original, written and directed by James Cameron and released in 2009, and I waited patiently for years for a sequel. Avatar - The Way of Water finally premiered last month. I wanted to love it as much as the original but some part of the magic was missing for me.
On the positive side, it did not disappoint in delivering one of the most recognizable Hollywood movie lines of all time: I see you. Three simple and powerful words that have the potential to validate one’s very existence. As inhabitants of Planet Earth, we share our common human experience. We all function with emotions. We all navigate love and loss. The multitude of ways we do this is basically limitless. When it comes to the trickier emotions of sadness and fear, our brains can run the show, leading us to some negative thought patterns that make life feel hard. Keeping spirits up every day can be daunting when you have others depending on you or you are challenged with health or economic hardships.
Sometimes there’s a tendency to feel that if you’re not happy with your results, that’s on you and your choices. And so we put on a game face for the daily trek up the mountain of life, and often feel compelled to make it look effortless, or at least not whine about the effort of it. Personally, I have felt the weight of life, the effort of being, on days when my energy level isn’t quite up to the task. To have someone look me in the eye and witness my struggles, my victories and even my failures, all without judgment or commentary, and simply offer, “I see you...” That would be the equivalent of an emotional life ring.
Generally speaking, relationships may sometimes be bound in a shifting dynamic that is barbed with conditions and judgements. Often we are disinclined to believe the authenticity of encouragement when it is given. Part of navigating a personal relationship can lead to questioning the place it’s coming from. “He’s just saying that.” “She doesn’t really mean it.” “If she really felt that way, she’d show me, not just tell me.” In other words we put conditions on the relationship too. Our ears hear a simple message, but our brains have the power to twist it into something complicated.
That’s why the line in Avatar hits a nerve for so many, I think. It reminds us that we all have the power to witness the other’s sorrow and grief. When I say, “I see you,” I am seeing the love in your wounded heart, and I honor it. Wow. In a noisy world, those three words can cut through an awful lot of self-imposed static. Of course there is only one voice that really matters. We are led to believe we are separate from one another and from God. But really we are all just walking each other home and holding each other’s fragile hearts. So go ahead and say it out loud to yourself, to the mirror. You are a warrior. I see you.
